The Wounded Heart by Dan B. Allender

The Wounded Heart by Dan B. Allender

Author:Dan B. Allender
Language: eng
Format: azw3, epub
Publisher: NavPress
Published: 1990-12-22T00:00:00+00:00


CORE IMAGES RELATED TO AMBIVALENCE

The contemptuous picture of oneself begins with doubts about intelligence and competency (powerlessness), moves to questions about desirability (betrayal), and finally ends with the conclusion that one is dirty, vile, and cheap. The internal picture explains why arousal and cooperation occurred, memories return, and patterns are repeated in the present. The image of being vile explains not only why the abuser betrayed the victim in the first place, but also gives reason for the absence of deep relationship today. The picture of being cheap, loose, or more graphically, a whore, explains why arousal occurred and lessens the sense of damage when revictimization occurs. The abused woman can use the core image of the whore as a scarlet letter to hide behind or as a shield to fend off any man who might seek a legitimate relationship.

Joan was a diminutive, sweet woman who felt like a whore whenever she developed a crush on any unsuspecting male. Her dress and demeanor portrayed innocence and naiveté, but her mind was a cascade of sexual thoughts and images. Her prim demeanor belied a terrible passion. The self-image of a whore was a death sentence that was temporarily postponed as long as she was faithful and chaste, but only as long as she was under strict control. No wonder few had any idea of her struggle with such a vile self-image.

Lisa was a bold, carefree Bohemian who wore clothes that were just beyond the border of propriety. Her dress was not provocative nor obviously seductive, but her mood was loose, free, and sensual. She liked to see herself as a woman who was too much for any one man. She was confident and take-charge in relationships, but remained stiff in the face of relational intensity. Her self-image was vile and self-destructive: she was a toy, a plaything for fun. The lightness and confidence of her lifestyle belied the internal image of herself as a toy for abuse. The image of the toy served as a proud badge of her freewheeling lifestyle, but it equally represented the sad loneliness of her shattered heart.

The image of a whore—shamefully hidden or proudly exhibited—is seldom conscious or intentionally chosen. Rather, it is lived so deeply that one may be surprised by its presence and intensity. Core images are contemptuous explanations of internal damage and maps for living out self-protected patterns of relating to others. For that reason, the images caused by the internal damage of sexual abuse are most frequently seen in the way the person lives out her interpersonal relationships.

The next section of the book will be an evaluation of the external damage due to abuse. The focus will be on the secondary symptoms most commonly related to abuse and the typical styles of relating that are associated with the core images of internal damage.



Download



Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.